my very own Project Life

I am inspired by Becky Higgins and her Project Life. But I cannot afford her beautiful templates and kits plus at some point I still want to do a bit more hands-on when I put things like this together. I also want space for my writing, lots of writing, not just photos and images. So I decided to design my own Project Life by getting a plain ring binder, printing papers, magazine scraps, old decorative calendars, and the like to help me get started. It is also a great way for me to have a hard copy of all my digital journals and blog posts -- my own way of securing myself a copy of everything I have written with a computer and thus taking away the fear that they would all be lost in cyberspace when the zombie apocalypse comes around.

There is a lot of cutting and glueing and doodling and coloring involved. Very therapeutic. I also find myself re-reading old journal entries and realizing that I had worked out some things that have been troubling me without realizing it at the time. I also enjoy discovering the patterns in my writing topics which help me with whatever it is that I am struggling with at the moment.

Right now I would love to do this all day but I need to get some work tasks done. How I wish for the day when I will never say those words "need to get some work tasks done"! How I wish that all I need ever say is "need to finish writing the latest book" or "need to complete the pieces for the next exhibit"!

slowed down sunday

I have deliberately made myself slow down today as I caught myself getting all hyper and tense and stressed out about all the things that remain undone or unfinished.

I went out to see Brave in the movie theater with my suster, after which we had coffee and pastries al fresco -- just a few feet from the sidewalk where the rain poured incessantly.

I also ran some light errands while in the mall but always reminding myself to breathe and not act like I'm being chased by hell hounds.

I got myself a pencil case to organize my fountain pens, calligraphy pens, ink cartridges, Sharpies (in all colors), and drawing pencils. That way I can have a more portable art journaling set of tools.

I also ended up buying this lovely notebook that felt like an old library book and which therefore brought nostalgic feelings. So beautifully old-fashioned.

How's your Sunday going?

creative storm

Pushed to the brink and dangled over the edge of the abyss, I was left with no choice but to put uncertain hands on blank pages. Soul took over as soon as I relaxed my death grip on reason. I was starving on so many levels but as the pages filled with color and images and words, a sweet delicious taste flooded me and drowned all my inner censors and doubts.

busy turning work into play

I have this Other Business. It's actually my first business since I left regular employment and at first I thought that was going to be it forever. Like it was going to be the work that defines me. But as you would have seen in the past few months it will not be the only thing that will take my time and effort, if at all.

However, I also recognize that you cannot (although some will probably say you can) just let go of something you have built from scratch into something significant for sixteen years. There is also the reality that it is what is feeding me and my family right now. And I don't dislike it. It's just that sometimes it reeks too much of work -- the kind that eats up your life and leaves no room for anything else. I went solo to get away from that but then last year taught me that it was not that easy.

So what I tried to do for the whole day yesterday ( and will continue today) is to revisit the plans for the Other Business and to redefine it. I want to integrate it into my now-blooming creative and crafty life instead of allowing it to bully everything else out of the way. In the process it will also help the business acquire a better and stronger identity and purpose, thus be able to also offer better service.

I got a lot of useful help from the book The Right Brain Business Plan -- and I wish I found it two years ago! Its style appealed and resonated with me because of my strong creative side. The questions in the book had me writing non-stop and I filled at least fifty pages of my planning journal in long-hand!

I encountered a few roadblocks though and had to seek the advice of my sister. We talked for a few hours last night to work those out and I got some initial ideas on how to resolve them.

the cover of my planning journal. My Creative Work Matters!

a favorite quote from the book Socrates Cafe by Christopher Phillips

some images and ideas that I'd love to translate into my work

I've always been a National Geographic fan and I've always been inspired by their work - the photography, the writing, the intentions, passions, ---everything. I would like to be able to embody similar values in my business to make it more aligned with how I want to live my life as a whole.

Integrating the business into my creative life and my financial needs and where I want to go was one of the difficult parts. The kind of work I do for the business can be taxing on so many levels so I need to figure out a way so I will not be overwhelmed. I really don't like the feeling of toiling through days just to get to pay the bills!  (Thank God for Good Clients who are great to work with and who appreciate the work.) 

I wish to continue to reform myself because the workaholic sometimes slips back in. I also need to have more trust that good projects will come as needed and there is no need to compromise on my standards (or my fees!) just because I'm worried I might not make it to next month's bills. I want to be able to push for the values and identity that I want my business to have and those are what will help it grow big than if I just subsisted on compromises.

These are some of the fun stuff from the Right Brain book. I'm doing some of them today and the rest will be for over the weekend. So yes I will be busy!

I got this beautiful quote from Twitter this morning:

"If your work is play, you will never get tired. If you make everything a play time, you don't need to work at all!" (Swami Satchidananda)

Have a great work/play day!

a happy new year's day

My first day of the new year had been full and happy.

My mom and my sis visited me in my newly redecorated home and they stayed until dinnertime. My mom was coming down with a cold and the threat of a fever but she really enjoyed the visit and appreciated the conversations. I also loved the fact that I didn't have to spend the whole new year's day by myself.

my mom, my sister, and being-difficult-Mogget

In addition to making my first craft of the year, which was a love vision board, I also designed the covers of my new journals for 2012 -- my idea notebook and my life list notebook -- which will be filled with inspiration and goals and the raw materials of all the happy stories and events that I look forward to this year.

I also received my copy of Toffee magazine which got me really excited to craft and make wonderful, pretty, and useful things with my hands and my imagination. I discovered this magazine through my crafty sister.

Before I went to bed last night I did a final check on my Twitter and saw a post by Neil Gaiman sharing his wife's blog post. His wife, Amanda Palmer, wrote this very long but very nice post about their wedding and there were a lot of things she wrote that I could relate to. The post also showed a side of her that I was happy to see because I am such a Neil Gaiman fan and I want him to be happy and blessed in his own life especially with all the beautiful stories that he has shared through his books. I went to bed feeling warm and inspired and hopeful. I believe that the old year has taken with it the worst of things because I feel light-hearted and optimistic when I woke up this morning.

How was your first day of the new year? 

it's eleven in the morning and i just woke up

All that serious creative work and redecorating have caught up with me and I slept through the whole morning today. I was woken by the alarm at 5:45AM but then I could not move very well because my body was just dead tired and aching still. So I gave in and slept more and had more weird dreams until my body said, "Okay, that'll do for now." My back still aches a bit although it is much more tolerable. I guess I still have to take it a bit slower today.

On the other hand, this is the first time in long months that I have indulged in a very late sleeping in. I also feel cushioned by the progress I have made in prettifying my home so I don't feel guilty. Oh yes, even now I am plagued by that feeling of horrible guilt when I indulge myself. I am not quite sure how to get rid of it and just simply enjoy and savor the indulgence (especially since I have them either rarely or in small amounts).

I will need to write my plans and wishes and intentions for the new year between now and the new year. They are all in my head for the moment, chattering and having cocktails.

butterflies, roses and feathers

I had a bit of a breakthrough yesterday and last night. I caught a glimpse of the light at the end of this very long tunnel. This morning when I did my morning pages and morning sketches, I also prayed. I asked for guidance, signs, messages. But being quite occasionally dense I asked that I be given signs through butterflies, roses, and feathers. I promised to pay attention and to listen and to do everything on my part. I want to keep moving forward, to totally pull myself out of this slow quicksand of delays and distractions.

Already I am beginning to feel better. Less heavy. Less burdened. There are many thing going on in my life right now that require patience and love. I didn't realize I had grown hunchbacked trying to carry it all.  Now I know. And I also know that there are other many other ways to keep myself walking forward.

creative status : will start something.

I've been yapping about getting creative and crafty since October but I feel that I have progressed very little and have barely scratched the surface of things.

I have completed Holly Becker's BYW class -- that's a big something at least -- and have greatly improved how my blog works (in my humble opinion). Some noteworthy items : 1) photography quality, editing, size, and layouts 2) font types and sizes 3) color schemes 4) blog header 5) social networks 6) weekly features 7) more consistent voice (I think) 8) special features such as my life list and twelve by 2012.

Today I intend to start on my creative journals. I discovered though that I had disposed of a lot of my materials when I went on a series of cleaning and clutter-clearing frenzies a few months back. I only have a very small handful of magazines and art materials available, but I will make a start with them and see how it goes.

Meanwhile, here are some snapshots from the old journals I have made through the years.

I missed making these! I could spend hours happily putting stuff together. I have also found this activity very therapeutic and it has actually helped me process my thoughts. :)

sunshine and blue sky

I stumbled upon this small painting I made on the page of a journal years ago. I can no longer remember what inspired me to do this, but that moment was also the time in my life when I started to emerge from a phase of slow dreaming through a dark tunnel. It was like a waking from a sleepwalk of long journeys, where every thing was a dream and every dream was a wish fulfillment that vanished and melted onto the next strange story.