waiting

This drawing is waiting for colors while I wait for Saturday.

Just two more frogs. Two more work things that need to be done and then I can begin a much-needed long work break. That means two weeks of no day-job work in any form. That means time to take care of my moving places and time to write and time to make art.

Work has been causing me pain. The fatigue stings and pumps venom into my spirit.

My tolerance for doing things that I must for the sake of paying bills has been at an all time low. I don't drag myself out of bed in the morning but I do drag myself to sit in front of the work computer and do the same old thing. Because it is the same old thing. The only difference is that I have bargained off money for time. Yet even time is stolen from me when the work had to be done because my heart is focused on something else.

That is why I need this long break. Too much of the past few months have been about making ends meet and paying bills and working too hard and not having enough in the end to treat myself. When I write or make art I don't need to treat myself even if both are actually hard work in themselves. But when I do day-job work I need to treat myself or else I might go mad in both senses of the word.

I cannot make it to this year's Book Fair but I will go to the Cut-Price Book Sale in one of my favorite bookstores. I have squirreled away a bit of cash so I can buy some books. I was saving it for a turntable but I can't think of letting go of the money without a cringe. The cash outlay is still a bit steep for me and in my case, the music can wait (a little bit more) while the books can't.

This is what I have in mind:

from Satchmi

There has been too much waiting lately. Too much.

The solution is not to wait. Of course that is what I need to do. I must not rush or be impatient. Easier said than done.

Just do what I can each day. Be happy for all the little boxes ticked off at the end of the day, even if not all the boxes get ticked off.

Afternoon Break

I am at the hard tedious sludgy part of the work which is trawling through the raw data for patterns and themes and unearthing meanings. There is so much slow reading to be done and what makes it difficult is the time given. I think it would not have been so bad if I had enough time. But I never seem to have enough time and I always have to rush or I always have something else urgent on top of it.

Work has been rather slow since after lunch so I finally took a break and made this:

"Sleeping"
Derwent colored charcoal and Inktense on Moleskine

Now I am hoping that letting my inner child have free rein and make art will make it let me work with more speed and better focus.

pastel techniques with charcoal + Derwent Inktense

An artist friend lent me his brand-new book on pastels and today I started reading it. It is a very useful and easy to understand book which is very helpful for beginners like me.  I applied the techniques on charcoal and Derwent Inktense although I also plan to use pastels later on. Right now I am too in love with Inktense.

The first drawing practice was of grapes and bananas. Here is my attempt. Since I am using Inktense, I have the choice of adding water to the colors afterwards, which I did.

Second drawing was citrus fruits.

What new thing are you learning these days?

Open Sign

I posted this on my Facebook today. I am now considering day-job options in line with the plans I have set for the coming new year. I will be sharing in future posts some of my thought-process while deciding on this particular course of action.

What are you setting in motion today? :)

will soup save the day?

I'm doing something for a possible project that has something to do with soup. Can't really share anything more than that but I am counting on soup's well-known benefits of comfort to save the day and soothe my current worries.

keeping the faith

It's a challenging time for me this month. Some big changes will need to be made while staying true to what matter to me.

A part of me marvels at the nuances of these new experiences. There are insights and lessons to be learned in the situation I find myself in. The test of faith is at its most difficult. Things WILL get better. The tide WILL turn.

Meanwhile I will do what I can and wait for everything else to unfold in its own perfect time.

my sister's dream self

The Girl With Purple Hair And A Flower Tattoo

a surge

I spent most of today painting. Couldn't help it. Couldn't stop. The blank pages drew me in and made me draw.

I finished this one last night.

This is my first finished piece for the day. Watercolor + Gouache

Today's second piece : Watercolor + Gouache + Lace

A Special Piece for my best friend in Canada. The photo does not do justice to the colors or texture so she will still have a bit of a surprise when she gets the real thing. :)

Third piece started but I made myself stop so I could take a breathe and rest. It would not do to deplete my creative well so soon.

I have started drawing and painting in my sketchbooks instead of hiding in the safety of my art journal pages. I can actually tear the pages off and frame the pieces. Maybe I will do that one day.

omnisketch

Omnisketch is a new iPad app that I downloaded just today. It caught my eye when I was updating my iPad apps. It only costs $1.99.

Here is my first piece using the app. It feels like drawing in ink or thick watercolor and I like some of the effects and the variety of brushes. But a part of me still feels like "cheating" and I would still prefer to make more art with real paper and pencil and brushes. This app will be very useful though when I am out of the house and have to wait or when I am in a cafe and don't feel like reading or writing. It can also be useful as a drafting page for works that I intend to do with real paper and watercolor.

I've been drawn to a lot of water images lately and maybe it's because I feel like I am lost at sea. I'm looking for the rainbow and the pot of gold. I'm looking for the land that I can call my home. I am looking for the compass that will tell me if I am on course and where my True North lies.

creative storm

Pushed to the brink and dangled over the edge of the abyss, I was left with no choice but to put uncertain hands on blank pages. Soul took over as soon as I relaxed my death grip on reason. I was starving on so many levels but as the pages filled with color and images and words, a sweet delicious taste flooded me and drowned all my inner censors and doubts.

inspired everyday

I am finally making a lot of artsy sketches and drawings in the past few days. I just started. After imagining for months how I would begin to make art when everything is ready, I just started in the midst of nothing being ever ready. And I guess that is the whole point. I will never really be perfectly ready because there will always be distractions and obstacles. But if I really want to make art and live a creative life then I should just go ahead and live one instead of imagining a future that somehow never manages to turn that next corner.

I have been having so much fun and the feeling of satisfaction is simply delightful. I have even taken to doing rough sketches in the middle of the night when an idea strikes me.

This has been a creatively productive week. I have also been reading and writing a lot and my sleep has improved from the previous week.

The weather has fully shifted to the rainy season. I hope for the pouring of more inspiration for everyone.

The Owl Who Knows How

He just kept hooting around in my head, flapping his wings, and pecking at my thoughts. He says I should not fuss about how things will happen and I should just do what I need to do. He says he knows how it's all going to unfold, and that I have nothing to worry about.

watercolor, poster color, beads

day 6 : Draw Your Favorite Book

My favorite book is poemcrazy by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge. I got it in May of 1997 and my copy is so yellowed and the pages are starting to get brittle. This book has gotten me through many phases in my life and has certainly gotten me to write countless poems (some of which I hope to self-publish soon). It has kept me sane by helping me contain my insanities. It has nurtured my creative spirit. It has comforted and consoled me in my sad days. And most importantly it has always inspired me to explore my own path  and map my own journey in words.

day 5 : draw your best friend(s)

Day 5 of the Drawing Challenge is to draw my best friend. Well I have two. One is my best friend from college, Jennee, who is now living in Canada and having a dreams-coming-true period in her life. My other best friend is my sister (and partner-in-craft), Peachie who has proven that soul is thicker than blood. They are the only two people I can literally discuss anything with and just knows, in an almost creepy way, the right thing to say and do.

They also love cats as much as I do. If the three of us were to rule the world, there would not be any lack for cat shelters.

My sister's sketch above was inspired by her photo below, exhibiting the messy high bun.

days 3-4

I had a client presentation yesterday and a last-minute cram preparation the day before that so I did not get to post my days 3 and 4 drawing challenge. So here they are:

Day 3 - Favorite Food

This was a tough choice but I picked something that I would eat at any time, regardless of moods or cravings. Fruits. I love fruits. They are healthy, light, and refreshing. They are the most natural foods ever and they are sweet in the way that only fruits can be. To represent fruits I chose watermelon, and here I show the red and yellow variety both of which I love. The yellow tends to be sweeter and is more expensive than the more common red. Watermelons remind me of summer and beach trips and childhood.

Day 4 : Favorite Place

My favorite place is by the sea. And my most favorite place is having a writing/reading/creative desk by the sea. With endless supply of fresh coffee. Piles of books and Moleskine and a bottle of ink and a fountain pen. A typewriter. And the sea swishing and splashing a short distance away. The sand scratchy beneath my feet and between my toes. The wind gentle and refreshing. The sun shielded by a printed cloth umbrella. And a soft pile of pillows nearby for quick naps.

Day 2 : Draw Your Favorite Animal

Hands down, I love cats.

Day 1 : Draw Yourself

So here goes my first day of the 30-day drawing challenge. I first sketched with pencil then completed the drawing with oil pastels. I have a fondness for pastels because of how the colors layer on thick and bright and intense. At the same time it blends. I love the waxy feel in my hands and I love how the color spreads on the paper and layers over as the color stick itself diminishes -- visible transformation from medium to artwork!

So this is supposed to be me. It's how I look inside anyway, how my spirit looks like. The retro wild child flavor is something that has been distinct about me, with just enough dash of weird and a generous sprinkling of geek. I used to not like those aspects of myself when I was younger because I thought they made me weak and uninteresting. I even did not like wearing glasses (I have been nearsighted since high school). But now I realize that they make me what I am, and what I am is strong and creative and beautiful in ways that are beyond popular standards.

What do you see in your inner mirror?

starting the 30-day drawing challenge

As part of my intentions to live a creative and inspired life, I will now embark on the 30-day drawing challenge. My sister attempted it a few weeks back but she only got up to Day 12. She is also the one who recommended that I try it.

If you're interested you can check out their Facebook page.

I will post my Day 1 drawing tonight. :)

snapshots of a day

I made myself clean up the mess that usually creeps in whenever I'm in the middle of a work.project. I really look forward to the days when the rest of my life will not have to take a pause every time there is work. Work should not be eating up my days like langoliers. In any case, I realize that I really love the colors of my home.

The sky was interesting again today, with great gray rainclouds threatening the sunny clouds. By late afternoon it had begun to rain.

My attempts at practicing watercolor. So that's an hour less from the 10,000 required for mastery.

has it been a week??!

Yes, it has. In fact it has been more than a week. More than a week of no posts.

I could not gather myself enough for a full post these days because I have been working on two big projects and my attention is already spread thin enough as it is. So I will try to at least update with some snapshots and quick notes for the next few days.

Today I cooked a week's worth of food to be frozen or refrigerated so all I will have to do is reheat them. That way I won't have to worry about menus or even chunks of time spent preparing and cooking and washing all the pots and pans after.

Work will still be intense until the end of this month, then there's a Holy Week break, and then the work will pick up pace once more until I am free to go on a beach vacation in early May.

All my crafts and creative projects are on a pause as I get the work projects done. I miss them a lot. The most I could do now in between work breaks are read books and write in my journal.

Oh well. I gotta do what I gotta do while the other good stuff that I've been visualizing are still on their way to me. :)

Leaving you with one of my mom's cartoons: