Thursday, February 9, 2012

a happy day and i think i know why

I have declared today a no-work day. No internet either. I only briefly connected to confirm a meeting schedule for tomorrow but that was it.

Last night I had dinner at my parents' house and stayed all the way until today. It was a rather spontaneous decision, and it also felt like something I needed to do. I needed to be away from my home which is currently in transition. I needed to be away from the distraction of too much familiarity and the lull of habits.

Kendo practice last night was surprisingly satisfying and I even surprised myself. I slept like a baby, for the first time since I can no longer remember when. With my breakthrough (I think that's what it was) in kendo, a lot of other things also gained clarity. Like something clicked into place and as a result other things started to slide towards their own proper spaces.

Or it could just be some form of pre-birthday thing. It will be my birthday next week.

I woke up this morning with a light heart and a positive energy. I cooked myself breakfast and wrote my morning pages while I ate. Then I mapped my creative journey on two pages of a sketchbook - it's the first time I did this and it was very helpful and inspiring. I identified what I could work on. The rest I left to faith. Then I spent a couple of hours reading quietly in the sunny backyard, making notes, opening myself up to the questions that come up in the book I was reading (Foolsgold by Susan G. Wooldridge).

Then a hearty home-cooked lunch with my family.

Then I went to help my sister design shoes for selling. We were at it the whole afternoon and our fingers ached but it was one of the most fulfilling and satisfying day ever. It was the first time I designed shoes because the previous times I took care of inventory lists and I also had Other Business work.

We were quiet sometimes and we were laughing out loud sometimes. But we kept on creating and crafting and thinking up pretty thoughts. I wished I didn't have that meeting tomorrow so I could have done another pair and maybe stayed over for another night. As I sewed, more ideas came to me and my heart leaped with excitement and oh, I could not wait to get to that point when I would just be creating and crafting all these pretty things and they will be selling like anything and we will be happily living on what we earned.

This is how it would feel everyday when I am living the creative life I have always dreamed of.

Soon, soon...

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