about me

I was creatively-inclined as a child and as a teen and even well into my early twenties. I loved writing most of all and I have written poetry and non-fiction type of writing. I had a short stint as a travel writer when I was in my late 20s but the magazine didn't get enough funding so it died.

If I would publish a book it would probably be inspired by the works of Nick Bantock and Barbara Hodgson. In my creative life period I made volumes of journals with collages, illustrations, drawings and lots and lots of writing. I also did crafts, mostly recycling and re-purposing. I also love cooking and baking. I took a lot after my grandmother.

Then I got promoted in my corporate job (I was doing strategy and research in an ad agency) and then the work started to eat me alive. I had less time for creative hobbies or creative anything. When I got home I would be too tired to do anything else. Sometimes I skipped dinner so I could just sleep. I hardly had weekends and when I took vacations I mostly slept. I splurged on many things I never really needed because I could no longer create things for myself. For a (long) while, retail therapy substituted for creative expression.

More than a decade later I was starting to burn out. I took a 2 month leave from work to rest because I thought that was all I needed. When I came back it was okay for a while then I started feeling a hunger in my heart and my spirit. Nothing would satisfy it. Not a very fat paycheck or a high position in the management committee. I felt restless, lackluster, almost like a ghost. Less than two years after, I decided to quit my job, to the surprise (and not a few disappointments) of many people.

The first 6-8 months after quitting was a period of recovery – just resting and releasing all the toxins and stress from all those years. Then I started a business on research – much like what I used to do but with a bit more creativity put in and on my own terms. But it wasn't enough, I was still looking for something. I was beginning to feel that familiar restlessness again and it bothered me and made me panic a bit. I had very little to show or claim to be mine even after all those years of hard work. Basically, all I had was a nice list of impressive sounding descriptions in my CV. But I wanted something to hold in my hands -- maybe a published book, or a magazine that featured an article I wrote, or the key to a shop or a cafe that I own, or a whole range of created objects.

Then I started to rediscover my old creative hobbies, unearthed my old journals, found my old poetry. Then I knew what I wanted.

I want to go back to my writing and illustrated journals and crafting– I want to work with my hands and my heart again. I have also lately been growing fonder and fonder of vintage so I want that in too. Even when I do my research work I want to inject as much creativity and heart into it.

Life has been challenging since I gave up a paycheck. I have learned to simplify my life even further. It is sometimes disheartening how people or companies will try to deny you what you deserve but I learn every day how to move forward. More than those who discourage are those who do encourage and support me. My gratitude extends to every one of them.

This blog tells the daily stories of my journeys to a more creative and authentic life.