more peeks at settling in

I have fully moved in with my parents and only visit the old place to transport things. I do the transporting by stages in order to manage the cleaning and fixing and arranging, especially of the tons of books that have to be re-organized into various shelves.

I gave priority to fixing my workspace/writing nook because a project is due to begin by end of next week and I really want to get seriously started on the research work for this year's NaNoWriMo. I have also decided to make my workspace more of a writing nook than a day-job workspace. Hence my "work" shelf actually has more of the happy stuff (my library of journals, writing books, notebooks) than the day-job stuff.

I also discovered that having no windows (my corner is literally a corner and under the stairs and walled in by a shelf) somehow helped me work better because I am less sensitive to the passing of the day and thus feel less resentful of feeling that I spent most hours just working on the day-job. The light is constant as if it is always early evening and I often pretend I am a hardworking detective on a mystery crime case working overtime (yes, it has a bit of that feel). Much better than enduring the daylight change from morning to late afternoon and realizing that I have been in the same spot doing the same thing.

A whole new theme and flavor for my writing nook/ work space.

in progress

a very rare selfie, and only because I want to show off the owl print that is now in my writing nook

Today's focus will be the bedroom. I hope to make progress in it well enough to be able to show nice photos. Then next on the list is the bathroom which is now much bigger and also shared with my sister. There is an unbelievable amount of possessions to sort through, combine, de-clutter.

Finding the right balance of co-existence in shared spaces is a very big deal and in that matter I count myself pretty lucky that I get along with my sister. She lives on rigid, almost obsessive but enviable well-orchestrated schedules while I fare better with a flexible day that leaves much space for maneuvering and flowing in any direction. I am more impulsive and indulgent. I am also worse at getting lists ticked off.

my odd sister. queen of calendars, schedule master.

settling in slowly

DIY house moving is very exhausting and very slow. On the other hand it does not cost any money. Except perhaps for the food and beverage treats I allow myself as comfort and reward.

What did cost me money was fixing the new place especially since I have to integrate myself into an existing household instead of simply setting up a new place for myself. There were repairs and upgrades and renovations. There were color palettes to consider. There is now a roommate to consult with constantly.

Hello (Sort of) New Place...

Renovated the living room. Still in progress.

Renovated the dining room. Still in progress.

transitions

I started the whole moving process late last week and it was not easy. It was physically and emotionally exhausting. As of yesterday we have finished repainting the bedroom. Today we will start arranging furniture and things to be able to fit everything, like a giant puzzle. My target is to start settling in by the end of this week so I can resume some semblance of work by next week.

I had mixed feelings all throughout. I was very sad about dismantling my independent life but I was also touched by my parents' excitement at having me home again. I was angry with the bank who cornered me into this decision and I was disappointed with the general scenario of things that left me with very little options.

At the same time I found validation on who my true friends are and how wealthy I am with the genuine affection and care of others.

I make the most of this distressful shift in my life by keeping my faith that this is a necessary turn for me. It may not seem to be the most obvious way to get to England but who knows?

Dismantling a life. Packing up possibilities.  

A Puzzle of Keeping Sanity and Harmony 

New Room WIth A View. Playing With Colors To Frame A New Life Chapter.

Collaborative Artists' Space. New Possibilities.

waiting

This drawing is waiting for colors while I wait for Saturday.

Just two more frogs. Two more work things that need to be done and then I can begin a much-needed long work break. That means two weeks of no day-job work in any form. That means time to take care of my moving places and time to write and time to make art.

Work has been causing me pain. The fatigue stings and pumps venom into my spirit.

My tolerance for doing things that I must for the sake of paying bills has been at an all time low. I don't drag myself out of bed in the morning but I do drag myself to sit in front of the work computer and do the same old thing. Because it is the same old thing. The only difference is that I have bargained off money for time. Yet even time is stolen from me when the work had to be done because my heart is focused on something else.

That is why I need this long break. Too much of the past few months have been about making ends meet and paying bills and working too hard and not having enough in the end to treat myself. When I write or make art I don't need to treat myself even if both are actually hard work in themselves. But when I do day-job work I need to treat myself or else I might go mad in both senses of the word.

I cannot make it to this year's Book Fair but I will go to the Cut-Price Book Sale in one of my favorite bookstores. I have squirreled away a bit of cash so I can buy some books. I was saving it for a turntable but I can't think of letting go of the money without a cringe. The cash outlay is still a bit steep for me and in my case, the music can wait (a little bit more) while the books can't.

This is what I have in mind:

from Satchmi

There has been too much waiting lately. Too much.

The solution is not to wait. Of course that is what I need to do. I must not rush or be impatient. Easier said than done.

Just do what I can each day. Be happy for all the little boxes ticked off at the end of the day, even if not all the boxes get ticked off.