Looking back, when this month was just beginning...

I was in a hotel somewhere down south of the country, about to begin fieldwork for a project that I am currently eyeball-deep in and trying to craft a report for.

N Hotel, Kauswagan, Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines

Even then I was already a bit behind with organizing my data. What with my disk drive dying on me and respondents suddenly deciding to be difficult.

Yesterday, in an almost desperate effort to improve the pace of my work I tried out something new. I tried using Scrivener, an app that I use for writing my books, to write my report and to organize my data.

And guess what, it seems to be working! Nothing as dramatic as getting the report done by end of the week but at the very least I can hope for a finished rough draft that I can polish next week (simultaneous with the start of fieldwork for another project). I will write a full separate post on the wonders of Scrivener after it has taken me through the Finish Line for both projects (that would mean a bit of a wait though, like, around July).

Meanwhile I bear the pain of not being able to read the books I got on sale from Cagayan de Oro City -- Less than Php500 for all of these:

 
Doctor Who keeps me company on the very late nights that I force myself to stay up. But it gets more difficult each day, trying to trick myself to do the same amount of crazy work I used to do when I was in my early twenties. There are more important things for me to do now than work. My body knows it. My heart knows it. My spirit knows it. They have all gotten wiser to the tricks I make to make them work too hard or too long.

I bear it all for a chance to be in London.

pre-birthday project : a life map

It just struck me this morning. And then I found myself mapping my life. Greatly inspired by Joseph Campbell's Pathways To Bliss.

At the core of the map is heeding Campbell's call to follow my bliss. Then I break it out into four key aspects: Body, Mind, Heart, Spirit. In each aspect I identify my influences and inspirations, and how my life actually manifests in these areas. I am now able to see where I need more nurturing, where I need more growth. I suddenly see why my work (i.e. dayjob) has been causing me so much ache and discomfort (it does not fit into the patterns of my life at all, and it desperately needs integration and the injection of soul.)

I see my priorities, I see my values. I will now be better equipped when I read about the spectacular events that seem to be happening to my friends in Facebook every single day. It is very easy for me to think and feel, "I want to do that do." or "I want to have that too." But that is their journey, that is their path. I have my own and it is no less important or spectacular. When I am being distracted or depressed i will go back to this map and remind myself. This is what matters. My own timing is not the same as other people's. I unfold in my own perfect time.

The map reveals to me my outmoded behaviors and habits, what I need to let go of, what I need to do more of. I discover that I need to awaken my Warrior Self.

I realize how many wise teachers have been sent to me and have been with me through all these years. I discover and understand why there are things that I keep going back to, or why some things never fail to bring me the deepest joy.

I realize that it will be my birthday soon and that is why I find myself mapping my life. What will my new year bring to me? What will I bring to myself? Where will I take myself?

"You enter the forest at the darkest point,

where there is no path.

Where there's a way or path,

it is someone else's path;

each human being is a unique phenomenon.

The idea is to find your own pathway to bliss."

- Joseph Campbell