bed-weather wednesday

But I was up early enough to not feel hurried through the morning.

And so far my pace is quite agreeable. 

I am discovering new depths of joy from working with watercolor, dip pens, and ink:

Not to mention that I am absolutely loving my return to the good ol' filofax. Updated with chronodex scheduling and inspired by John Winchester's demon and monster diary. I love the flexibility of adding and removing pages as well as rearranging them. 

I am way behind my word targets for NaNoWriMo but I remain optimistic. This year's novel has been harder to shape than the first and I admit there have been too many distractions and causes of dismay (i.e. Dayjob).

I have gotten around to printing inspirational pegs for my art-making, something that has been on my to-do list for ages.

Being focused and centered, even for the things that you sorely, desperately want and love, can be a challenge in the midst of daily demands that chip away at your strength and resolve. What has been helping me through is writing. I write when I am shaken and I write when I am lost. Somehow the words help me find my way again even if it is only as far as the next tiny step. Sometimes the writing simply helps me stay afloat on the worst of days, either days of raging storms or days of death-like stillness. Between the two the stillness is the more unnerving, when nothing seems to move and you even begin to doubt if the world still breathes. I write through it all, carving paths through the emptiness, holding up the oft-flickering flame of hope that keeps my own heart alive.

sometimes all I can do is help the energies along and hope for the best

So I finally got around to putting together this little wish/dream/vision altar which will be my daily reminder and focus aid.

I really want to make the most of my life and to live it meaningfully and part of that is going to the UK. London first, and then the rest of it.

It's a rather long and complex story why I am so drawn to Great Britain and I am certain I have not yet even figured out half of it.

In any case here is my simplified physical manifestation of my wish/dream.

That giant cup in the middle has my London savings fund. When it overflows I will transfer it into the home safe.

I try not to think of the logical hows. Instead I encourage myself to see the magical twists and turns that often lead to dreams coming true. I've done it once before. I know I can do it again.

all saints' day

Today has been much about writing. It's the first day of NaNoWriMo and it is also day 3 of my playing and experimenting and practicing with my new nibs and inks.

With work finally slowing down to a close I can feel the weight of it slowly (excruciating slow if you ask me) lifting from my shoulders. I cannot wait to take that long holiday break as soon as I can, to stow away all work things out of sight until well into the next year.

saturday sneak peek

I rested for most of the morning because I had been on the verge of falling ill the night before. The cat stared at me from the other end of the bed, probably wondering why I was still not up.

When I felt a bit better I tagged along with my parents and sister to check out a garage sale by friends who are moving out. I got myself this pair of ceramic cups which are perfect for holding my pens and highlighters. You can never have too many pens and highlighters.

I was still feeling a bit under the weather but I made myself deal with long-postponed chores that could help ease and release stagnant energies in the house. I finally got around to organizing the bedroom bookshelf.

I also finally got around to clearing and organizing the art corner (which also happens to be the room's love and relationship bagua so maybe something nice will happen in that aspect of our lives). 

I have sideline/dayjob work to do and I just keep telling myself that it will all be done soon enough.

wednesday

Attempts at making sense of too much information. Sitting at a cafe while waiting for a fellow consultant to work together on a project.

Had cinnamon sugar cronut and coffee.  Both very good.

After the meeting I peeked at the secondhand bookstore on the way home and got pulled in and the next thing I knew I have five "new" books. 

snippets

No more missing pages. The gifts of daily writing are too good to miss.

I have been short on sleep because of work. Too much to do but I refuse to give up on the daily writing so I give up on sleep instead. One day I will finally be able to give up work.

Last night I read while waiting for my second wind so I could do a few more hours of work after I had done my evening writing. The second wind never came.

quick roundup

Today's quickly thrown-together brunch : eggs, butter-tossed fresh mushrooms, coppa ham, chunk of gouda cheese, with arugula on the side.

It's a working weekend so it has been rough and tough. 

This fluffy one keeps me smiling though.

The other day I sneaked out from working and had oden at the convenience store with my sister.

I also finally found out for myself what the fuss is all about Cookie Butter. Not bad at all.

I got myself a new stack of books because work always ups my spending mode in an attempt to console my aching heart for still having to have a dayjob that steals so much time and effort from what I really want to do.

I can't wait to have that huge chunk of time just focusing on my writing and art-making. I do feel so tired and drained. I have not had a proper vacation from work since the year started, to be honest. It has been a series of tests and trials and monster battles.

How have YOU been?

not yet

It's not yet TGIF. I still have a whole day work tomorrow. Today's work went okay. But as dayjob demands go, I am almost useless at end of day. All I wanted to do was take a bath and go to bed, and that was what I did. (I am writing and posting this via mobile phone in bed.)

On a happy note, I WROTE today. This morning to be more specific. By that I mean that I wrote a portion of a story that may or may not be part of one of the stories I already have in progress but a portion of a story nonetheless. It was the beginning of a scene and I felt that it will be an illustrated kind of story. Which reminded me of my poetry books. Which pressed upon me even more urgently the need to get back on serious track with my writing practice.